Saturday, February 19, 2005

Light of Hope

Here is a poem that I've just finished today. It is about hope ,which you can guess from my nickname, that I lack :P
I think it started as just another hopeless poem but while I was writing it, somehow it turned to a hopeful poem.

It is called "Light of Hope"


When the darkness falls on my soul
And when despair takes control
I just try to breathe you in
To plant hope back in me again

And when the dawn comes to set me free
I see what no one else can see
And on my soul you always shine
Sending comfort to this heart of mine

And with the coming of the first ray of light
I'll follow it with extreme delight
I know it is the right path to choose
It's where I'll reach the end of my blues

Even if the road seems to be a long one
It won't make a difference if I walk or run
All I know is that I have to go all the way
To find a refuge out of my dismay

So, may the light of hope shines forever
And not to fade out from this life, never

Critical comments are more than welcomed :)

21 comments:

Hope said...

Since I'm Hope, I must say that I love this poem! I remember telling you once: hopeless, Im gonna make u hopeful. It worked!!

Hopeless Poet said...

All I can say is that your light has been shining on me for the last few days ;)

Hope said...

well Hopeless, I hope this light will have its everlasting effect on you. Good luck :)

Aquamarine said...

waw. seriously that was one hopeful poem. very optimistic i'd say..

Hopeless Poet said...

Hope:
I don't know but I feel that the light is fading today :p
Thank you :)

Aquamarine:
Yeah it is hopeful, but do you say that it is very optimistic in a sense that it can't be real?

flamingoliya said...

very hopefull ya hopeless :)
good one. but i felt a pause on the last stanza: forever and then never, madri!

emm, you didn't mention anything about car phobia after AlHariri.

Hopeless Poet said...

flamingoliya:
It's hopeful indeed, I guess my mood was good while writing it because if I started writing it today it would have been hopeless :p
What is wrong with the last stanza?
I wanted the light to shine forever .. fading does not mean it will stop shining, it means it will be dim and eventually it will disappear, so i wanted it to shine, to be bright and never fade out.
Maybe you have a good point but you need to elaborate more. I really need to be criticized :D

My car phobia has nothing to do with bombs, it is more like normal car accidents or a huge truck leveling my car with the ground :P

Flamingoliya said...

well i am not a critic, but i will try :p
"And when the dawn comes to set me free
I see what no one else can see
And on my soul you always shine
Sending comfort to this heart of mine"
the dawn usually means end of life, i think sunshine fights there more :)

"if I started writing it today it would have been hopeless"
assuming you wrote the poem last night, then you sure are moody :p

last stanza?
it's just the wording, not the meaning. the poem goes smooth all the way, but when i reached there, i felt a pause.

"I really need to be criticized"
wanasa, i feel like a real poet/critic LOL

truck leveling your car? LOL.. get a jeep then :p
the picture of the burned people haunts me :/
btw, my phobia is fear of not waking up in the morning. so i thank God when i wake up :)

(infidelity or marriage) feehom 2 comments for you.

Aquamarine said...

hopeless..
no. i think it could be real. i just say its optimistic cuz obviously the guy is expecting a brighter tomorrow. that's sweet and even though it might not happen.. the hope still exists. and that's the most important thing. :)

Hopeless Poet said...

I guess I have to defend myself then :p
The dawn (fajr) actually means the beginning of a new day, a new life, a new era, a new relationship and etc. I meant there that a new day is starting and soon darkness will vanish and I will be free. Does that sound logical?

No I didn’t write it last night, I started writing it Wednesday and finished it Saturday and no I am not that moody :P

Now I got what you meant by the pause, I guess it is there on purpose to end the poem a proper ending. I wanted to make it 4 lines as the rest of the stanzas but I couldn’t find words to say so I ended it like that.

I need to be criticized because it will help me to improve :)

Actually I didn’t see the burning bodies from Hariri assassination but yeah that scares me too

Your phobia reminds me of that song If tomorrow never comes for Garth Brooks /Ronan Keating where in the song it says: If I never wake up in the morning .. would she ever doubt the way I feel ..about her in my heart

And ok, I replied in that post :D

Hopeless Poet said...

Aquamarine:
True and as we say in arabic: ما اضيق العيش لولا فسحة الامل
My translation: Living is so tight if not for the space of hope :D

Aquamarine said...

lool. i can see that translation has become ur talent mr. poet ;P

Vintage said...

suggest the last word to be ever.. rather than never.

i can never write poetry that way.. i must be disfigured.

Hopeless Poet said...

Aquamarine:
That is indeed a talent! Some people are called poets just because they translate other nations poems to their languages but I only do it for fun :p

Vintage:
I think never fits better but I will need to read more about that!
I am trying to write the same way you do but it is harder than I expected!

Aquamarine said...

not that i have any poetic talents here, but i think never fits best. forever and ever? sounds kinda repetative. but forever and never sounds better. forever, never, better.. am rhyming here wanasa! ;P

Hopeless Poet said...

Aquamarine:
Thanks for your insight and support :D
and since you are rhyming, I expect a poem soon from you ;)

Flamingoliya said...

LOOOOOOL stupid me! (flamingoliya hides her face)
and i thought dawn meant sunset! now i know why my digcam has sunset and dawn options! i wondered why they had 2 similar options! hehehehehehe i guess the word dawn is similar to down, meaning: when the sun goes down :p

i need critisism too.

yes, i would doubt the way you feel about me LOOOOOL
i don't know this song, wouldn't mind receiving it's link.

thank you for replying to the post :p now it's your turn to inform aqua and bare :p

Hopeless Poet said...

looooooool!! use microsoft word to check the meanings of words, believe me, it helps ;)
I am glad that I taught you something new regarding your digicam :p

And come on!! why do you have any doubts? :P
I've sent you the links already, enjoy the song :)

No need, It is hard to come up with a convincing comment regarding such posts and it is almost the weekend and my brain is not working well :P

Flamingoliya said...

I AM a MSword freak, don't worry. it is that i was so sure of myself that i didn't even GUESS i was wrong :pP
"when the sun goes dawn .....
when the shoes get so hot and wish your tired feet were fire proof" Bette Midler.
i love this song, and sing it always. i just realized that the word is dawn and not down! i thought she was talking ironically hehhehe

i have doubts because you have car phobia not sleep phobia hhehehehhee

thank you for the links, but somehow yahoomail isn't connecting well these days, marrah o marrah.

no need to convince them, i just meant letting them know that you replied :)

Hopeless Poet said...

I love that song 2! and I've sent you another email regarding it so yahoo email better work now!!

And they will know if they want to know :P

Flamingoliya said...

ashwah!
i thought i was the only one liking this song :)