Monday, November 16, 2009

Broken Tales

Here is a poem I wrote few years back. Here I tried a different kind of rhyming style. The 1st line rhymes with the last and the 2nd with the line before the last and so on..

Broken Tales

Once upon the moon in the sky
I have made a wish upon a star
And walked along this lonely shore
I left my footprints on the sand
And I have written my name there
But all were washed away by a manic sea
And I have walked and walked all alone
And then before I have ever known
The future was a forgotten memory
That I have lost somewhere
I once saw it clearly in the palm of my hand
And like those who were there before
I have never made it very far
There is no reason and I don’t know why

9 comments:

msha3erha said...

Brilliant rhyme :D
You've wrote it differently, so I tried to read it differently too

I start with the first line then go directly to the last line. Then the second line followed by the one before the last ;) It worked with meaning until I reached the most final two lines ;) the sense was screwed lol

Of coarse reading lines consecutively is way meaningful just like you did created it
Amazing :D

MuSe said...

very beautiful, i read it both ways and they are beautiful both ways :)

keep up the good work , i want to read something new from you :)

Hopeless Poet said...

msha3erha:
Thank you :D
I have tried to do that but it didn't make much sense to me lol

Reading it the way I wrote is the way it was intended to be read :)

MuSe:
Maybe beautiful but the meaning is not there I guess and it was not meant to be read the other way :)

And if I am going with the same rate now, you will read new ones after 2 years :D No I am kidding! I started writing again and hopefully I will be able to finish some!

His Sweetheart said...

First of all, let me tell you this

I have stayed for like 20 minutes before writing this comment merely listening to your songs selection!!

I really loved them all, totally my type!!!

Love your poem too! Very sensational!

P.S. May I please have te names of your songs?

Hopeless Poet said...

His Sweetheart:
Oh that is so sweet of you! Thank you :D

You can find the list here:
http://www.mixpod.com/playlist/33417378

His Sweetheart said...

looool

I got the notification that you sent me an email the instant you did but I didn't wanna interrupt the song lol

Thanks

Poker Face said...

Awww. That is seriously one of the best things I've read in a while. :)

Kazeh said...

Wow, you're so talented Mashalla!
I wonder how come I haven't seen your blog before!
Beautifully written.

Gallic gallimaufry said...

Hi. I just stumbled on your blog completely randomly. I've never seen anyone write with a rhyming system like this before, its a very original idea. I like how it feels disjointed until you get half way, and then it all starts to fall in place and feel familiar as you work your way backwards through the rhyme system to the end.