Tuesday, August 02, 2005

The Night

Finally I managed to finish this poem! I started writing it back in last winter and now summer is almost done! Yes that is how slow I am sometimes :D
Well it is about something I am planning to do when I get married and that is to let my wife sleep and stay up all night watching her sleeping till she wakes up and I will bring the breakfast to her in bed! I sound crazy I know but I think I can do it ;)

So here is the poem, enjoy

The Night

My sweetheart, you know how I long to touch you
So please do not think I don't want to make love anymore
It is not that I do not want to hold you the whole night through
But tonight just let me look at you like I never did before

So just lie on the bed and get into a peaceful sleep
Don't worry, I won't be far away I'll just sit on the chair beside the bed
I'll safely guard your dreams while you are in slumber deep
And I'll give you some of mine to hide under the pillow beneath your head

I know it is a cold night, and I should be with you under the covers
But watching sleeping like an angel will surely send warmth into my heart
And it's just amazing, this feeling of love above us hovers
And the bond between us so strong that no one can tear us apart

I promise you I'll stay silent all night and I won't say a word
Until the morning comes and it's time for you to be awake
I'll serve you breakfast in bed, just like you have always preferred
And this is just a small thing of what I'll do for your sake


Ancient said...

Ya Allah..Awesome!

I'm just speechless and...

I want that :(

Flamingoliya said...

will you marry me?

. : A : . said...

Came here highly recommended by 'jawaher' who left this link on my blog.

Nice poem and an even nicer thought. Save it and keep it for sure!


Najah said...

mashallah this is awsome but wont you fall asleep as well, i mean the whole night just staring, hmmm will u do something else beside starrrring?

Lucky her mashallah and move fast, the train the train TP... You need to be in Gear four..........

A Daydreamer said...

I absolutatly LOVE this one! your all time BEST (so far)... mashalah...

I hope she will treat you the way you treat her and even better... cause you only deserve the best... :)

Keep it up!

Peach said...

Aw HoplessP, your such a marshmello heart ;) I love it!

Peach said...

by the way .. about taking a long time to write this poem .. All great things take time.. Even birth takes at least 10 months from conception to the baby's wail .. so if you look at it this way .. I think u didn't take much time at all .. cuz it was great & it was worth it ;)

Anonymous said...

You get an A for effort... end result is not that great, though. This is not a poem. This is usual talk that brings absolutely nothing to the literary world. Not one idea that's close to being original. I've listened to rock ballads that are more expressive. Sorry to burst your bubble, but somebody has to tell you the truth. I sincerely hope that's not what you do for a living. As to all of you commenting bloggers who stand in awe and praise, you either have no idea what you're talking about, OR, and that's even worse, you're misleading someone onto thinking they actually created something worth while. Why don't you skim through Yeats, kipling, Cummings, and get a sense of what poetry is all about.

Anonymous said...

Oh and congrats on your choice of title for your blog. Hopeless rhymes they are, no doubt about that.

Peach said...

gee that's harsh! ;\

If you don't like the words well, I think poetry isn't ultimatly about words! If it's any form of art at all then it's more about feelings. And the abundance of feelings in "The Night" is beauty!

Aliya said...

The poem is cute. I think more use of stronger vocabulary is in order though. Maybe shorter sentences because you tend to loose the rhyming after awhile. I agree in that it is not that original. You can still be romantic and original. However, if it comes from the heart really, who cares about what anybody else thinks, right?
Good job, Hopeless. :)

jawaher said...

hey anonymous this is really harsh and rude...i don't think that u read ot taste poetry , cos the person who love poetry can't use this way of impolite critique ....and u have 2 know that we all here like the way hopeless use 2 write his wounderful poems and what u wrote about him is nothing and will not change our opinion about him ...so please don't write any silly comments here cos we don't want 2 waste our time reading ur stupid criticism and let me tell u sth ..u also need some one to advise u, so take my advice ( go and learn how 2 criticize people especially creative people like hopeless, then read this wounderful post again)

Hope said...

Anonymous, your so...so...I dont like you!! you should take your idiotic comments elsewhere!!

we ALL love Hopeless Poet's poetry and you think your so good at writing poetry than have you own stupid blog! you sad sad man!

sOsO said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
sOsO said...

The idea is nice...but most people don't look nice when they sleep..=P look at her in the morning or when she's napping...not sleeping.

I'm with anon that the idea is not original and that vocabulary wasn't rich at all...also that it's not so much of a poem rather than your thoughts...
Like as if your telling someone some sort of a story but not really…

But never the less I liked "Love"...It's nice and sweet and touched my heart...

I just hope that you'll take my criticism lightly...^_^

Hopeless Poet said...

Sorry people for the delay in responding to the comments since I am currently in another country :D

I hope you get that soon :D

You have to ask my father 1st :$ :P

Thanks for passing by and for the nice comment and I will save the thought :)

No I don't think I will fall asleep and maybe I will be writing a poem about her ;)
The train is still at the station, I am sure :P

Thank you for the nice comment and I hope I treat her the way I am planning to do ;)

First time someone call me marshmello heart :P
I agree with you so I can say it took about half the time the births take which is not bad :P

Hopeless Poet said...

Thanks for the A professor :D It makes me happy since I was a B+ student in my college days :P
So why don't you show us your poems or your writings so we can learn from you? You seem to be well familiar with the English language and literature. So who is your favorite rock bands? :P
And no I don't write poems for a living, I have a real job ..thanks for your concern ;)
So you are just a visitor here or a bloggr in disguise?
Oh and thanks for complimenting my choice of the blog title, glad you liked it ;)

Thanks :D and I hope that anonymous understands though I doubt he or she has some feelings :P

Thanks but imagine you are having a normal conversation with your husband, would you go and use some words that are being rarely used in day to day conversations?

Thanks for your support and reply to anonymous :D

Thnaks and I hope this anonymous show us some of his creative poetry and writing so we can all learn :D

Welcome in :D
Some look like an angels when they sleep ;)
Well as for the vocabulary, I made that clear in my reply to June.

And I don't mind being criticized at all so you are welcome any time ;)

samboose said...

That's tooooooooo cute!!!! Well I hope you find that person and may you both live happily ever after!!!

Hopeless Poet said...

Thank you very much for the nice comment and welcome in my blog :D

Meeshosaur said...

OMG! OMG! OMG! .. I loved it .. soooo amazing .. woow .. really i dont have words to descripe my feelling about the sweety peom ..

الحمدلله لقيتلي شي افهمه .. لول ..

Hopeless Poet said...

Thanks for your sweet comment and glad you managed to understand it :D

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