An old poem that I have just finished today!
The Perfect You
There was the river and there were you
And there was the moonlight shining
The stars dancing all around
Roses like a bed covering the ground
The moon, the stars, and the roses combining
The night was so perfect and you were too
You stood there and you were glowing
And the scent of you filled the air
My emotions were like the river flowing
How I envy that breeze that passes through your hair
I was mesmerized and it was showing
And you acted just like you did not care
So could you only be a dream or a fantasy?
And all of this is just unreal
And I was drowning in an endless sea
Mislead by the way I feel
How come they're always half done then suddenly you finish them in one night :p..
ReplyDeleteYou know I like the poems.. it's good that you still post ;)
Well..I have a folder of my writings which mostly unfinished poems so I open it and look at the poems and open 1 and see if I can add something or finish it and if I couldn't I move to another 1 and try with it! Most of the times I just give up and don't finish anything but yesterday I was lucky and managed to finish this :P
ReplyDeleteAnd it is good that you still comment here ;)
How I envy that breeze that passes through your hair
ReplyDeleteahhh yes. sure do :)
well you should be proud of yourself that you actually get to finish a poem...
ReplyDeletethe moment i start one... i just start ryhming random words...
like high with pie... you have rythm... :)
Falantan:
ReplyDeleteSure sure ;)
Thanks
hamitaF:
I am proud :D
Khalas I will teach you the art of rhyme ;P
"I was mesmerized and it was showing
ReplyDeleteAnd you acted just like you did not care"
Ohhh..... *sigh*
awwww :(
ReplyDeletelucky her, even if she was just in a dream
nice (f)
And I was drowning in an endless sea
ReplyDeleteMislead by the way I feel (Y)
Mash'alla ..
I LIKE UR POEM <333
so nice
Write a poem about death or misery . Pleaaaaase .
ReplyDelete"How I envy that breeze that passes through your hair"
ReplyDeletethat was hust beautiful !!!
This comment has been removed by the author.
ReplyDeleteYou stood there and you were glowing
ReplyDeleteAnd the scent of you filled the air
My emotions were like the river flowing
How I envy that breeze that passes through your hair
My fav. part :)
ur poem reminded me of an arabic song bak in the days wen i listened to arabic and not to english.. its a song by one of the very few arabic artists who sung meaningful words.. its called "frshat raml ilba7ar" by kathim isahir. do listen to it, the lyrics are incredible!!
ReplyDelete"And I was drowning in an endless sea;
Misled by the way I feel" <--very deep and heartful;)
its perfect ^_^
ReplyDeleteditto Glow!
beautiful :)
ReplyDeleteHey Hopeless Poet...I kinda wanna say thnx for ur comment..I actually feel wanted which is a feeling i havnt had in a very long time...so thnx again :$
ReplyDeletehey hopeless poet, me again...jst wanted to say i kinda added u on MSN ...it seems ur a great person to tlk to...so i hope u dont mind :$
ReplyDelete*sigh* how sweet
ReplyDeletewaw. great job. i miss these feelings :(
ReplyDeleteExcellent!
ReplyDeleteThank you.
pretty cool :)
ReplyDeleteChanged my link =D
ReplyDeleteWow mashallah walla that was really really good.
ReplyDeleteUpdate.
ReplyDeleteGimme ur unfinished poems I'll finish them for u =p
ReplyDeleteVery meaningful. Luvd it =)
ReplyDeleteamazingly written
ReplyDeletei loved it
am late .....
ReplyDeleteyou r not posting any more .. y ??
I love the blog do much
You write very well.
ReplyDeleteAmazing, as simple as that !
ReplyDeleteLovely
ReplyDelete!!
not better then my poem
ur competeled last time..
btw surprise ha?
Nice poem but I only have one critic...
ReplyDeleteThe title says she's perfect... In the poem she acts as if she ignoring.. That makes her not perfect :p
God gives things and take things..
Keep them coming^^ Glad to see you still posting!